What interfaith families would like us to know
By Barbara Rudnick
For the past several years, I’ve written articles talking about interfaith issues in our families and community. This year, I would like to give a voice to the interfaith families themselves. Below are some important points interfaith families have taught me that I would like to share with you.
• Interfaith families raising Jewish children want opportunities to participate in the Jewish community and feel included. They want to be seen as active contributors to the community, not as a problem.
• Every non-Jewish parent who agrees to raise Jewish children gives a gift to their family and community that has no equal. They give up a lot in order to do this. We need to honor and appreciate them and acknowledge the choices they are making.
• Interfaith families work hard to figure things out. They may not have completely decided how to raise their children or whether to join a synagogue. There are many important, complicated and emotional issues. They especially need our support and acceptance during these challenging times.
• The Jewish parent in an interfaith family does not want to be thought of as inferior to other Jewish parents because they married someone who isn’t Jewish. They want their children to be viewed as and to feel equal to Jewish children from same-faith homes.
• For interfaith families, holidays, life-cycle events and other celebrations may be difficult and full of ambivalent feelings.
• Many interfaith families (even those who would identify themselves as a Jewish family and are raising Jewish children) recognize/celebrate Christian holidays with non-Jewish grandparents and other extended family. They do this out of love and respect but often feel isolated and alone in our community because of it.
• Interfaith families may look to synagogues, schools and organizations as extended family, especially if there is no Jewish family in town.
In recent years, we have made wonderful progress being more welcoming to interfaith families. But we can do more. It is important to continue to look for new ways to open our minds, hearts and doors. Open communication, patience and understanding not only help interfaith families but also strengthen and enrich our community.
Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis continues to offer counseling and educational workshops for interfaith families as well as provide consultations to synagogues, schools and organizations that are looking for ways to be more inclusive.
This year JFCS will be starting a program created by the Jewish Outreach Institute called “The Mother’s Circle,” for non-Jewish mothers raising Jewish children. JFCS’s time-tested “One Couple/Two Faiths” series will be offered in February.
For more information about these and other interfaith programs contact Barbara Rudnick at 952-542-4825 or brudnick@jfcsmpls.org or check out the JFCS website at www.jfcsmpls.org.
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Barbara Rudnick is Program Manager of Family Life Education at Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis.
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