Back-to-school success with your children

By Cheri Brady

Many families welcome the cooler September weather, along with the familiar routines of school, work and activities. Sometimes, however,  elementary school-aged children have trouble re-adjusting to school in the fall, and are less able to clearly identify their particular stress, much less explain it to their parents.  

Parents may notice more whining, less cooperation, complaints about being bored or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. So, how can concerned adults help?  Here are three ways:
 
1. Connect with your child

Remember that while routines certainly are a comfort to children, the seasonal changes which bring new routines do require a period of emotional adjustment.

Establishing opportunities to talk with children each day can help. Whether this occurs at the dinner table or before bedtime, creating time to be with your child, without distractions such as the TV or phone, is key to facilitating your child’s ability to cope with his or her feelings.

Open-ended questions, such as “How has the bus ride been this week?” or “Tell me what you’ve been doing during recess,” can help children describe both the difficult and the positive experiences they are less likely to bring up on their own.

By joining your child in a discussion about social stresses as well as successes, you convey your interest as well as your belief that your child has the ability to create his or her own solutions.

By avoiding the mistake of quickly intervening to solve your child’s problems for him or her, your child develops a sense of social competence. This is a great stress-reducer!
 
2. Be involved in your child’s education

Being involved means providing the structure necessary to ensure that high expectations are met for homework completion, school attendance and early bedtime.

Completing homework can be easier for children if parents do their own “homework” at the same time each day. In a quiet area, parents can read or do paperwork tasks near their children, allowing them to be available to provide occasional help, and to be a supportive presence.

This can also mean volunteering at the school or participating in the PTA, although these activities are not possible for all parents.

3. Know and utilize school resources

While the classroom teacher is likely the most familiar and important person with whom to establish a rapport, parents should also become familiar with other school employees and how their services can be beneficial.

Most schools have counselors available to assist students with individual adjustment difficulties. Many schools also provide time for teaching and reinforcing social skills to classrooms, recognizing that caring, respectful and self-aware students create the safe and productive environment necessary for maximized learning.

Inquire if your school uses a special curriculum for this purpose, and ask your child about these important lessons. Often, the topic of bullying is addressed, including disciplinary actions and policies against bullying. The school principal can be a helpful resource for families regarding these problems.

Since 1992, Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis has partnered with St. Louis Park schools to provide the supportive services of student counseling, social skills training and family support to the students and families of Aquila and Cedar Manor schools. through the Aquila Cedar Manor Together Program (ACT).

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Cheri Brady, LICSW, is JFCS Supervisor of the Aquila Cedar Manor Together Program (ACT) and the Parent-Child Home Program (PCHP).